Marija Igrec, 51 

Marija's journey from entrepreneur to foster carer

More than twenty years ago, Marija Igrec could hardly have imagined the life she leads today. The 51-year-old from Croatia was running her own successful business in the flower trade. Her career had already taken an unexpected turn. After graduating as a physiotherapy technician, she was unable to find the internship she needed. So she created another path for herself and started her own business. Years later, another unexpected turn would change not only her career but her whole life.

Today, Marija has cared for eighteen foster children alongside raising her two biological daughters. Some stayed for a short time, others for years. Many are now adults, yet Marija remains part of their lives.

"Some of them still visit me regularly."

At this moment, four children live permanently in her home.

 

You made a major change in your life. How did you become a foster carer?

"My eldest daughter was eight years old when she became friends with a girl with special needs living in a foster family. At the time, I thought I wouldn't have any more children, so I decided to become a foster mother. We wanted to welcome one or two children into our family.

While my husband and I were going through the assessment process, I became pregnant again. Two years later, when my youngest daughter was a toddler, two little girls came to live with us.

I believed we had become a family and would stay together forever. However, at that time, foster carers were not allowed to adopt foster children and adoption offered the girls the permanent family they needed. They were adopted by another family but we stayed connected. Caring for them made me realise that I wanted to continue fostering."

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How has becoming a foster carer changed you and the way you see the world?

"When I was an entrepreneur, I didn't even know foster care existed. I was worried about material things.

I still remember the first little girl I met. Her parents were homeless and stood underneath my window drinking alcohol every evening. The little girl wandered around alone, often not even properly dressed. Sometimes I gave her a chocolate bar, and I thought that was enough. My awareness was limited.

Two years later, that same little girl came to live with me as one of my first two foster children. Only then did I realise that the chocolate bar I had given her before wasn't nearly enough.

Before, when I saw Roma families begging with their children, I saw them as a nuisance. I knew nothing about their lives or their circumstances. Once I got to know them, my perspective completely changed. I began to understand their world, but also to question my own: we spend so much time judging them, but how do they see us, our lives and the way we behave towards them?

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What has foster care meant for your own family?

"My daughters learned that not everyone has the same start in life, but together we can build a future. I think foster care made all of us just a little better people.

They have grown up and both chose professions in which they care for others. One works with children with special needs and young people in juvenile detention, while the other is completing her nursing degree. My marriage didn't survive, but that was never a reason for me to stop caring for my  (foster)children."

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What keeps you going, even when foster care gets difficult?

"I give a lot, but I get even more back, especially from the young children. They are like flowers. You water them and watch them grow. They give you energy and joy. Children who come at an older age need much more time and patience.

Among all the children I have cared for, one boy remains especially close to my heart. He came to me as a healthy ten-month-old baby but was later diagnosed with severe autism. He lived with me until he was fifteen.

When he grew up and became a bit aggressive, it was no longer possible for him to stay with us, so he moved to residential care but I still bring him home regularly. Sometimes he speaks clearly, sometimes he doesn't. I love him exactly the way he is.

There are difficult moments, especially with children who have additional needs. But when you look at a photograph taken on the day a child arrived and then another one a year later, you realise how much has changed. A child who has been given safety, attention, love and the time to build trust begins to change. You see it in their face, in their confidence and in the way they connect with others. That is what makes it all worthwhile."

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After more than twenty years, what would you like people to understand about foster care, especially those who may be considering becoming foster carers themselves?

"They are not just children in foster care; they are all our children. They are our future neighbours, colleagues and friends. Making them feel that they belong is something we can all contribute to.

Sometimes it is about very ordinary things. A foster child should be invited to a friend's birthday party just like any other child. Parents can help with that. Teachers can help, school directors can help, doctors can help. Everyone around a child can make a difference. It is not only the responsibility of foster carers or social services. As a society, we all share the responsibility to make sure these children are treated with kindness and are not marginalised.

For anyone considering becoming a foster carer, I can only speak from my own experience: I would make the same choice again. When I was an entrepreneur, I had more money. I worried about clients, invoices and running a business. Today I don't lack anything, but material things are no longer what matter most. I still work as a physiotherapist and with community organisations alongside foster care, because it gives me additional resources to provide for the children.  Yes, I give a lot, but I also receive. I always say that I receive far more than I give to my children.

At the moment, I care for a little girl who has no one of her own, no one in the world. She is four years old. One day she came to me, wrapped her little arms around me and said, 'I want to hug all of you.'” Marija falls silent for a moment.  "I don't need anything else after a moment like that. My heart is full."

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What can the sector do to encourage more people to become foster carers?

Being a foster carer changes your life. You welcome a child into your home and your family and from that moment on, you share your lives together.

I think more people would consider fostering if they knew they would not have to do it alone. As a foster carer, you need to know that there is someone you can turn to when things are difficult, whether that is a professional or another foster carer who understands what you are going through.

And sometimes you simply need to feel that what you are doing is seen and appreciated. Not just in words, but in the finacial  support you receive along the way.